


All the Sorrows of the World

by NowThatsDedication



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Baby Fíli & Kíli, Dis/Canonical Husband - Freeform, Grief/Mourning, Poor Dis - it only gets worse from here, Thorin doesn't do well with emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:28:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3506705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowThatsDedication/pseuds/NowThatsDedication
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bringing Dís the news of her husband’s death is one of the hardest tasks Thorin ever faced. Telling his nephew might break his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Sorrows of the World

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a chapter in a story I started writing about Dís. I put it aside (it was kind of depressing) but might pick it back up eventually. 
> 
> The only context you need is: after many sorrows and hardships, Dís is finally happy with her loving husband and adorable sons. Age wise, Fíli and Kíli are around 8 and 3.

Thorin approached his sister's home with trembling hands and a guilty conscience. He ignored the pang deep within his stone heart, which had been chipped away for so long he wondered how he could still feel at all. He prepared for the worst - which was if she blamed him. It wasn't his fault, but he couldn't help but feel responsible.

His nephews chased each other in the mid day sun. Normally he would disapprove of his heirs running unsupervised outside the safety of the halls, but today he was grateful for it.

Fíli was a shy and serious child, well behaved with a stubborn streak that may or may not work in his favor one day. He adored his father above all else. It was too early to discern young Kíli's nature, other than he thrived on mischief. Thorin pitied them because their world was about to change.

They ran to him with outstretched arms and faces streaked with dirt. He couldn't bear to look at them directly.

"Fíli, take your brother over to the field. Do not come back home until the sun starts to set."

Fíli stopped in his tracks, confused. But after a few seconds, he nodded his golden head and grabbed his brother's hand. He was suspicious of his uncle's abrupt instructions, though he would never question them.

Knowing they would not be present for the news gave Thorin some relief. This needed to be between him and Dís.

*******

Dís hummed to herself as she mended her sons' clothes. She finally had a moment of peace to tend to her chores and she relished it. The children had been unruly all morning and she hoped the fresh air would tire them out at last. Their father should be home any day now and would give them the extra attention they craved. She wished her husband hadn't gone with Thorin this time. The weeks were lonely and empty without him. He always felt he had much to prove to his brother-in-law and, despite her protests, volunteered for any excursion that arose. But this would be the last one, he avowed.

She didn't hear the knock right away, for she was lost in her thoughts.

"Come in!" The boys probably got into trouble again, she guessed.

Her brother stood before her with his eyes averted to the ground. He would not meet her gaze.

"Thorin! Thorin...what..." She knew by the way he carried himself that something terrible had happened. She had seen this expression several times before. Despair crept upon her like a heavy fog. Old memories of death and anguish resurfaced, memories she thought had been buried for good.

"Dís..."

"Thorin? Where...where is he? Where is my..." she quavered. "What's happening?" Just a whisper now as she steadied herself on the edge of the table.

"Dís, I am sorry." It took all his energy to utter three words. His head was still lowered, he could not look.

"No...no, no, no." She backed away and clutched her chest. "No. It's not true, it can't be. No, please..." she repeated until her voice raised to a scream.

"I am so sorry, my sister. There was nothing we could-"

"NO! HE PROMISED! YOU ARE LYING! NO, NO, NO..."

Dís let out an agonizing wail that shook him to his core. He watched, helpless, as she collapsed to her knees with her face twisted in shock.

Dís couldn't breathe. She wanted to sink down into the ground, into darkness, and never wake again. She pressed her head against the cold stone floor as she wept. A knife had pierced her heart and she was dying - too slowly - for each second felt like an eternity. An eternity without him.

Thorin tried to lift her, but she resisted. He clutched her wrists and pulled her to her feet. It was more than she could take - her vision faded to the deepest black and her body went limp in Thorin's arms.

It was for the best, he realized. It would be a short rest from the pain. He carried Dís to her bed and stood watch.

*******

Hours passed. Thorin remained by his sister's bedside, drained of emotion. She had been through so much - they both had. But she was strong, stronger than she knew. He envied her inner courage and ability to forgive. He never told her that, and maybe now he should. They would get through this, Dís and her boys-

His nephews had not returned.

They were not outside. Panic washed over Thorin as he searched. He called out to them and received no answer. It was dark but there was enough moonlight to see a faint trail - two tracks of small footprints leading into the trees. He followed their path as it twisted and turned, afraid of what he might find.

After a tense walk, further than he thought the two children would ever wander to, Thorin heard rustling and a frantic shout of "Uncle!"

"Uncle, I couldn't come back when you said because Kíli fell asleep and he is too heavy and I couldn't carry him, and..." Fíli rambled on, out of breath, "then it was dark! So I stayed here and watched him...I didn't know what else to do and I'm sorry, uncle. I hope you aren't angry."

"No, just worried. Come, I will lead you back home." Thorin sighed in great relief. He should have put more faith in Fíli. He was sensible enough to stay hidden and keep his brother from harm.

Kíli snored lightly into a pile of leaves as Thorin bent to wake him. But after a couple of futile attempts, it was clear the little dwarf was too exhausted to budge and would have to be carried. He lifted his tiny nephew carefully, like the most delicate of treasures. Kíli unconsciously wrapped his arms around Thorin and his dark head curled into the crook of his uncle's neck. For a few moments, Thorin forgot why he was there and what he must do.

"Is my father home yet?" Fíli fidgeted and kicked at the dirt, still uncertain if he would be scolded for his disobedience. Thorin didn't answer and walked ahead. Fíli repeated the question, louder this time. Maybe his uncle didn't hear him.

"Keep up, it is getting late." He wasn't ready to tell him. He didn't want to. He wished for his young heir to have a little more time to be a child, with no cares or pain.

Uncle must be mad at him, Fíli worried. He tried to catch up and tripped over his boots. Maybe if he asked one more time....

"I want my father, is he home?"

Thorin stopped but did not turn around. He took a deep breath and let the words escape and hang heavy in the night air. It had to be done, he couldn't wait forever.

"Your father is dead, Fíli." Thorin was surprised at his own bluntness. He glanced back to find Fíli frozen in place, mouth agape and eyes wide.

"Do you understand what that means?"

Fíli nodded with a far off look. Thorin hated himself for telling him in that manner. The shuffling footsteps continued behind him. But they soon ceased.

Fíli sat on the ground with his knees hugged close to his chest, crying into his folded arms.

The stone heart shattered at the sight of his nephew's grief. This family was destroyed in an instant. He witnessed his loved ones crumble before his eyes. No shield could protect him from the blow.

With his free arm, Thorin hoisted Fíli up and held him tightly. His little body trembled with sobs and the tears wet his coat. He didn't know how to comfort him. Nothing he could do or say would make it better. He tried to imagine losing his own father at such a young age and how lost he would feel.

He must now take on a bigger role in their lives. Give them the guidance a father would. Thorin wasn't sure he was capable of that. Yet there was one thing he knew he could do - return them to their rightful place. Reclaim his home, his kingdom...for them.

"Your father was brave. And now you must be." The sniffling grew louder. The little fists dug further into Thorin's chest.

"Don’t cry, Fíli. It won’t do any good. It will be alright. Your mother and I will be here. Don't cry."

Fíli interpreted that as an order and forced himself to stop. He didn’t want to disappoint his uncle.

******

Dís woke from a deep sleep, the kind she could not recall ever having before. She was alone and it was quiet, too quiet. Then she remembered. It hit her hard, almost worse than before, because it was not a dream. He was never coming back.

She was split into two, then further, until she was nothing but splintered pieces. Broken glass that could never be put back together. She muffled her face into the pillow to stifle the strangled cries, the howls of a wounded beast. She tore at her hair, her clothes, the bedding - trying to grasp on to anything as her sanity slipped away. She called out his name and begged for answers. Why did you go? Why did you leave us? It seemed like hours of this awful ritual before she exhausted herself. It would not bring him back.

It was foolish to think of life as anything but cruel and brutal. Foolish to believe that happiness could last longer than a fleeting dream, barely tangible and gone by morning. An illusion. The old wounds reopened and the scars throbbed with a familiar intensity. How could she keep living when she was dead inside? Everything had been ripped away from her, again and again.

Not everything. What a dreadful thought. She was not dead, nor did she want to be. There was still a ray of bright hope left in her, something precious and unbreakable. _My sons_. It would be hard to continue on, but it must be done. They needed her. She felt her love surge with a new sense of purpose.

Dís forced herself up and went to their bed. They were curled up together, Fíli's little arm wrapped protectively around his baby brother. Deep asleep and helpless against the world and all its sorrows.

"My sons," Dís whispered and stroked their hair, "You are my life."

She would walk through fire for them. Do anything to keep them safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Good luck with that, honey.


End file.
